So I’m not normally big on writing posts about things that I don’t like, although there are a fair bit of things in life that I really really don’t like.
In general though, I do my complaining about things when they happen, on the spot, (usually to Captain America, poor guy), rather than save it all up and unleash my irritation on the entire internet. Mostly because the things I get irritated about are not really that big of a deal, and also, no one likes a complainer. (But let’s face it, I am one).
Which brings me to my point. I am a complainer. Well, I personally wouldn’t say that – but I’m sure a lot of other people would. Kind of like Sally in When Harry Met Sally* – I just want things the way I want them. And I know how I want them.
Yeah, I’m a bit of a perfectionist, and I take things a little more personally than I probably should. It’s one of those life lesson things I know I need to work on, and I really do try to – being married, for example, has been a great lesson in learning how to let go of expectations and control. This site has also been a fantastic exercise, by helping me focus my energy into putting positive things out into the world, not negative! But realistically, I’m still human, which means I definitely still have a ways to go…
So in the meantime, I would really love it if people would stop doing things hoping that I won’t mind. You know what I’m talking about, “Oh, I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of doing something without asking, assuming it would be fine.” They’re usually mundane things, “I took the trash can down for the trash guy to pick up tomorrow, I hope you don’t mind.”
Only, you know what? I do mind. I mind a lot. In fact, if anyone were to mind – it would be me. I mind – okay? I mind EVERYTHING. There is nothing I DON’T mind. The only way you could possibly think I wouldn’t mind is if you didn’t know me at all – in which case, you should most definitely not be doing things for/with/involving me without asking in the first place, weirdo-stranger!
Maybe I hadn’t filled the trash can up all the way yet, and now I’ll have to haul the rest of it from the house all the way down the hill. Maybe I needed to go out again later that evening, and now I’ll be blocked in the driveway – our street sucks. (This is all an example – Captain America is in charge of the trash, and I think it’s pretty safe to say that’s one thing I’ll never mind!).
No, of course I don’t mind – it’s not like I was thinking of that last piece of cheesecake ALL FREAKING DAY, just waiting for it to be time for dessert. Who dares commit such a crime??
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t mind things because I’m controlling, or trying to be rude or mean or bossy – but because I really do find things important. Even little things. And I think about everything. A lot. But I’m aware that not everyone finds everything as important as I do, and really, I’m okay with that! (Lies. I’m not okay with it. I do not understand it at all – I think you’re made of magical fairy dust, and I want some of it. Seriously, how do you not mind things??? Tell me your secret!).
Anyways, until the day comes that I somehow manage to stop minding things, it would be awesome if the general public would stop doing things without asking. Realistically, I probably wouldn’t mind 99% of the decisions that normally irritate me, if someone had just bothered to check in first.
Because there are a handful of people of people – about four – in my life that I do implicitly trust to make decisions on my behalf. But that’s only because I know they wouldn’t unless they had to. Part of why I trust them so completely is because I also trust that they will respect my feelings, and include me whenever possible. They know I mind things. They respect the fact that I mind things. They love me even though I mind things to the absolute exasperation of their patience. But those kinds of relationships are rare – a mother, a husband, your best friends. There aren’t really many people in anyone’s life who will put up with your irritating crazies, and still think you’re As Good As It Gets.
So I guess my point is, unless you’re one of those people (you know who you are), or until you gain enough trust to join their ranks – just STOP, okay?? I promise to keep trying to work on getting over it, if you promise to Pipe The Fuck Down. Deal?
What is something that you mind?
Do you mind when people do things, hoping you won’t? Or are you good about letting the little things go, when done with good intentions?
(Sorry for the language, but seriously, I’m pretty sure Jenna Marbles would know what I’m talking about).
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