I’d say that 2013 was the biggest year yet, for me – except for perhaps the year I was born, which started it all off in the first place…
When 2013 began, I don’t think I realized just how much everything was about to shift for me; though I did know that I was saying goodbye to one of the worst years of my life (as bad as it was, I’d still rather replay age 25 than 15!). I suppose I did have a few inklings that things were going to be different – I remember distinctly, a moment while I was driving in my car, listening to the radio, when Ellie Goulding’s Anything Could Happen came on.
“That was the year I know the panic was over…”
And it was too – for some reason, without warning, the constant state of panic I was living in lifted; I’m not even sure when it happened, but I’m thankful for it. Because these last few months have been a doozy and I don’t think the old me could have handled it. I’m not all the way there, but I think I’m finally on my way to finding my composure – and I think writing here has had a lot to do with that discovery.
Just days into 2013, I went on my first first date – and although I didn’t know it at the time, I met the man I was going to marry. It’s hard to describe the whirlwind we’ve been on since then – an engagement, an extensive 3,000 mile-long road trip, 2 birthdays, remodeling, moving, a wedding, a death, sickness, health, school, and the holidays…Suffice it to say: it feels like both a blink of an eye, and waaaay longer than a year since it all began. In just a few weeks, we’ll be celebrating our one year anniversary. It hasn’t been easy, and we’ve both had our moments, but when I look back at everything life has handed to us in the past year, I’d say we’ve managed to do some pretty amazing things and deal with some pretty cruddy cards that have been dealt to us, better than most people in our positions would be able to do. And we’ve done it together. I’m excited to see what 2014 has in store for us – I have a feeling it’s going to be good.
About a month ago I got a coupon code from Shutterfly for a free calendar, so I went through all of our photos and put together a calendar/scrapbook of our first year together. Each month has a corresponding picture – in January, pictures we sent to each other before we met; in April, photos from our April trip to the coast; pictures of our first Halloween together in October etc. It’s going to be fun looking back on it and remembering each special moment as we start a new year together.
Perhaps the biggest thing that we faced this year, however, was the death of my Grandmother, towards the end of the year. As a child, my mom and I lived with her and my Grandpa for a few years – and they became like parents to me as well. She was my double solitaire partner, and we spent every Wednesday afternoon together even after we moved out, because she loved to pick me up from school take me to Ballet class. She adored her children and her grandchildren, and her arms were always open for a hug; I hope I never forget what she smelled like or how she felt when she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a kiss. I’ve never lost someone so close to me before and even though we had time to prepare for it, and even time to say our goodbyes, the ache still remains. My greatest comfort is the fact that she lived to see my wedding day – something that I dreamed of my entire life…
Yes, like every year before it, 2013 brought with it a rollercoaster of up’s and down’s – a myriad of joys and sorrows. In addition to all of that, I also turned 26, battled through another year of Lyme disease treatment, made some new friends, re-connected with some old ones, and overall took one step closer to being that old wise woman I someday hope to be! (Among other things).
I’ll never have all the answers, but I’m certainly learning a lot of them a long the way.
What lessons in life and love did 2013 teach you? What were some of your most memorable moments this year?