Post title taken from the song “Dog Days are Over” by Florence + The Machine.
Some days you wake up, and everything sucks. I mean, you can just tell it’s going to be a bad day from the second you swing your feet off the mattress. Some call this “getting up on the wrong side of the bed,” – which I guess can never technically be the case for me these days, as my bed has been pushed up against the wall for a few years now and there is only one side to get out of bed on…but you know.
The point is, for most of my life, it seems, I’ve gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. Not only have I just never been a morning person, but I’ve often woken up with feelings of pure dread and anxiety. I would call my mom, or my roommate and tell them “something’s going to happen”; In a day or two someone would break up, a fight would break out, or a relative would fall ill. Other than being a good personal “warning signal” to alert me to situations I’d probably be better off avoiding, this hasn’t been a very handy “skill” – since I never know what sort of disaster I’m anticipating, and even if I did, they’re often unavoidable. Mostly all it’s left me with is a heavy pit in my stomach.
But lately I’ve been having just the opposite feeling. I’ll be driving down the road, or cleaning the house, and all of the sudden it hits me – something wonderful is about to happen.
Maybe it’s the weather. With spring comes rebirth and blooms and bursts of vibrant sunshine and color – blah blah blah. You know the talk. As much as I really do love the rain, there’s no denying the motivating force of some vitamin d pouring down on you – as long as it’s not too hot.
Or maybe it’s the fact that these last few years have felt like an era of endings, an era of watching things I had hoped and prayed and planned for for a lifetime, crumble like so much dust. And now, finally I feel like I have some level ground on which to begin to rebuild. With the knowledge that even if I have to start over again someday I’ll still be far, far ahead of where I was.
Either way – it just feels like everything is coming together. All of those little puzzle pieces that felt like they were missing for so long just feel like they’re falling back into place. It’s hard to describe really, because from the outside, nothing big has changed. I’m still dealing with health stuff (though it’s getting better all the time), and I’m still struggling – as many other 20-somethings (and everyone else in the decades in between), are – to figure out exactly what my place in this world is, and what my contribution to it should be. Relationships, pets, family, friends, writing, reading, the day-to-day of it all remains the same.
But even though I can’t put my finger on what it is, that doesn’t change the fact that something is different. And I like it!
I know I’ve shared this song with you before, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it as I was writing this post, so I’ve decided to share it here again – this time though it’s a cover, because Glee just always gives me that bubbly, happy, everything-is-going-to-be-okay feeling!
Do you get feelings like this out of the blue? When is the last time you felt like something good was going to happen? What about something bad? What was it? Were you right?