Because I will probably kill them.
Actually, on second thought, if they’re your fish, they will probably be fine. My roommate once had a fish, and I was always the one who fed it (since we basically never cleaned out the tank, feeding was the only upkeep required for this particular pet). It lived to be like five years old.
You see, it was technically her fish.
And apparently that makes all the difference in the world. Because when she moved out the house felt weird without a fish. I kept walking by the shelf in the kitchen and it looked empty. So I went out and bought the exact same fish tank, the exact same rocks for the bottom, and the exact same kind of fish.
The first one died within a week, after turning a horrible black color and getting itself stuck inside the castle turret (I don’t even know how it managed that, as the space was smaller than the fish, but you know…).
So I went back and got another fish.
It lasted a week and a half.
This morning it was swimming around the tank happily, going on it’s merry fish way – and this evening, when I went to turn on the light, it was lying at the bottom of the tank.
When I was a kid I probably went through 25 goldfish? Some of them died the day I brought them home.
Seriously, what is going on here?? How is it I can keep someone else’s fish alive, and yet, the second they’re my fish and no one else’s…they’re doomed to die within a month? All you do is feed them. Literally! That’s it!
The poor things, they probably feel like the old people in the nursing center do when they see Oscar the death cat coming, as I walk with their little cups up to the check out counter…
Fish and houseplants. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you.
Can you keep fish alive? What is your magical secret??